Master CraftsMon - Aired Monday, December 12, 2005 at about 11pm CST - Segment 6

Master CraftsMon - Aired Monday, December 12, 2005 at about 11pm CST
Segment 6

I played a classic 1950's song, "Baby It's Cold Outside", covered by Asylum Street Spankers. When that came out in the early 1950's, it was VERY controversial. What it did was expose the fact that women wanted sex as much as men and that only social pressures kept them from agreeing to have promiscuous sex. The song pretty much lists all the social constraints that a woman had in her life during the 1950's. With the advent of the pill and abortion, then all those constraints look quaint now.

Why should a woman do bed hopping? The thinking is that consensual sex is the pleasures of life. To deny yourself sex is just wrong.

The only problem is that it hasn't worked out that way. You see it's the darkness close to the ceiling. I want someone to write a song about that feeling. You know what I'm talking about. You're laying in bed and looking at the ceiling waiting to go to sleep. Unless your very lucky, you become beset by loneliness. You contemplate the darkness close to the ceiling and realize that even if you DO have a person in your bed right then, that person's going to be gone in the morning and the only thing you shared was the pleasure of the night.

Let me tell you how I would do the music video for my song.

The guy would have to be White and the woman Black for it to work. In the version of "Baby, It's Cold Outside." I just played, it's obvious that the guy is Black and girl is White. Kind of extra shock appeal.

Black women are having a whole hell of a lot of trouble getting married and raising their kids in two parent families. Damn, do they want to, but the Black males have been raised on rap and believe that all women are ho's. If you read anything in Black female magazines you get this constant lament about being unable to find a nice guy. Of course the Black females who are complaining the loudest are the ones who have an education. The Black females who have a future want a husband who has a future and too many Black males are dropping out of high school let alone going on to college. God, are these women angry about that. YET, none of the songs out there address that.

Anyway. Let me tell you how I would do the music video for the song that would show what I want shown. The guy would have to be White and the woman Black for it to work. The scene would be a bar with a live band. Let's say it's a country themed bar. A honky tonk. One of the White guys from the band is sitting on a stool at the bar between sets drinking. He's given his all on stage. Some of you don't know it, but being on stage is both a high and a low. If you do it right and the audience responds, it's like you and the audience are one and it's a fantastic high... but... like all highs you come down and you feel drained. So the guy's sitting there and the Black woman starts coming on to him. Instead of getting mad or saying something bad, he says in a weary voice, kind of sad, "Yeah, you're one fine looking woman and I really want you, but... I've had enough of the darkness next to the ceiling. I want to come home to woman who is mine and wants to be mine. I've had a thousand one night stands and each was different and each was the same. They all left me thinking that there had to be something better than looking up at the ceiling in the night and seeing the darkness next to the ceiling with a woman laying next to me." The Black woman is just blown away by this idea. She says something like, "Do you realize that there men who have BEGGED me to go to bed with them? The darkness next to the ceiling goes away when you're with someone. You're an idiot for even think that it stays around when you're with someone." The takes a sip of his cold, cold beer and says, "Yeah,... at another time and in another life, I would be begging you to share the pleasures of the night, but not lately. Maybe I'm finally growing up. My daddy was married to my momma for fifty years. They were NOT a perfect couple, but my momma always said that daddy made the darkness next to ceiling go away. That's the reason she stayed with him. We was dirt poor, but we was real rich too in the things that makes life worth living. We had a real home and love lived there." The Black woman goes, "You idiot no one marries for fifty years anymore. It's all a lie. Everyone divorces after a few years, if they can get the guy to marry them at all. That's crazy talk. There's only the pleasure of the night. You CAN'T defeat the darkness next to ceiling. You can only make it go away for a while." The country singer shakes his head and says wearily, "Yeah, maybe, but if that's true, then... what's the point. We live. We die. Is that IT? We have few good times and are lonely the rest of the time. That's crazy... I refuse... I would rather travel hopefully than arrive... Ya'll have a good night... I have a set to finish... and a lonely bunk in the bus to fill, but I'll be alone with my friends and... maybe tomorrow, I'll meet someone who'll get rid of the darkness next to the ceiling. If only in my dreams." So goes back up on stage and does his job. Don't know how it ends. By having the White guy take the complaints of the Black females in this country, it has more impact. Black females seeing that video would scream something like, "I'd never say something stupid like that. A guy wants a home and family and is interested in me? That's crazy talk." Then they'd get the point. Great song though. Wish I could get someone to write it. Maybe later.

You see we as a society have screwed up. Our dating practices do not lead to a happy ending. Think about it. The military has a saying, "Train as you do." It means that you should make the training exercise reflect the conditions that you are actually going to confront. For instance, it is idiocy to train in a Alaska in the dead of winter to get ready to do to Iraq.

Why do men and women date nowadays? They want to have sex. They want to find out whether the other person can be trusted enough for a sexual liaison either a one night stand or a living together relationship. Why does that get you ready for marriage? It doesn't. The dating rituals right now are centered toward getting two or more people together for the pleasure of the night. A marriage based on sex last on average, five years. What I mean is that if the only thing you have between you in a marriage is good sex, then it won't last. It's a stupid idea. Forget it.

Marriage is not exclusively about sex. Marriage is about having at least one person in the world that you can trust to make your needs and wants on the same level as their needs and wants. Marriage is about waking up with the same person each morning and not being surprised by that experience. Marriage is ups and downs where you take the ups with the downs, because the ups come more often than the downs when you're married.

If you optimize your life for the pursuit of pleasure, then your life becomes hollow and shallow and has no meaning. Everyone around you becomes someone who can help you please yourself either by making you happy or applauding your efforts to make yourself happy.

Like I said the dating rituals are all screwed up. I'm going to be thinking about what needs to be done in dating so that the outcome is marriage. What I am getting at is, what dating ritual SHOULD we have to tell both people whether the other person is capable and willing to get married? What do we have to do to convince the young people that marriage is better than the alternative? Hmmm... you did know that sex within marriage is better than outside of marriage? Yeah, you get to practice. In a one night stand, you got one performance and it may not be your best. Something to think about.